Background noise

I have discovered something about myself. I cannot write without background noise to block out reality. And I apparently don't care how good or bad the music is, as long as it's something I can ignore.

How did I figure this out? Well, I had been rolling right along with my current WIP, making lots of headway until this afternoon. I got into chapter 27 (there's 30 right now but I might need to go back and add a chapter to develop the story a little), and hit a snag, and tried to smooth it out and it JUST. WASN'T. WORKING. Nothing I did was making any sense. I wrote, deleted, wrote, deleted, distracted myself (aka played on Facebook), and kept trying, and nothing worked.

Then it hit me. I needed music.

Badda bing badda boom. Less than 5 minutes into it and I had it smoothed out and flowing. Working chapter 29 now, and yes I will be going back and adding a chapter to develop the story a bit more. I should have this turned in Tuesday. Woohoo!! Just in time for me to start my Lent project!!

Humor in life

OK, stupid question. I find it difficult to type if my nails are too long. As in past the end of my fingertips. Which makes me wonder, can I claim a manicure as a business expense? I don't think it really counts, since I'm not a hand model and so how my fingers look isn't really essential to me being able to do my job.

But anyway. Have I mentioned I have the absolute best job in the world? I get to live in a fantasy land all day and get paid to do it and bring it to other people. It's great. Knowing I'm helping someone escape an unpleasant reality for somewhere infinitely more pleasant is a great feeling. To be able to help someone who may be suffering from depression escape that mind numbing sucking, soul killing feeling for even a few hours a day, it's indescribable. I know, I battle depression on a daily basis.

Some people have told me that I am very inappropriate with my humor. I make jokes and poke fun at things that are really serious, but in all honesty, that is my coping mechanism. If you have ever seen me take something really seriously, you know how long it takes me to fall apart. I can keep it together longer if I use humor. If you can't laugh at the situation, and expect me to burst into tears and cry about it, well, yea you need to move along. I might cry, but I will do it in private where you will never see. I learned how to do this from watching years of MASH, both when it originally aired and in reruns.

Wow I have gotten off on a tangent. So bad of one that I had to change the title of this post lol. Anyway, g'nite loves the world over. Hopefully I will be announcing my new book in a few weeks.

Diabetes testing, or lack thereof

I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2010. No real tests were ever done, just a simple finger prick that showed my sugar level was 455. I can accept that I'm diabetic. I have made changes in my life to accommodate and try to learn to live with it.

What I find puzzling and really unacceptable is that I have never received an answer to the question: What caused me to BE diabetic? I understand that my body isn't processing sugar correctly and that is the end result of what caused me to be diabetic, but why isn't it processing sugar? The treatment plans that doctors have would seem to dictate that you had to know the answer to this question, but no one has ever bothered to test me to see.

I was told there are two body functions that are not happening that would cause you to be diabetic. And I've been told it's one or the other, never both. I don't know if this is right. I don't think it is. I was told either your body isn't producing insulin or your body isn't using insulin, which resulted in your being diabetic. But how do you know which it is? Could it be both? And don't you really need to know which it is so you know if you need to be taking insulin or something to open the insulin receptors on your cells? Cause if you aren't making insulin, it seems to me that no matter how many insulin receptors you have open, it won't make a difference because there is nothing there to be received. At the same time, if you are making insulin but not using it, it doesn't matter if you take more insulin, your body is going to just ignore it and not use it.

So why then, do doctors dig in and refuse to test you to see if you need insulin or need to open the insulin receptors? Why do doctors refuse to test to see why you aren't producing insulin or why you aren't using insulin? What if, there was something else that was causing you to not produce or use insulin and if you fixed that other, underlying cause, you would not be diabetic? Is it that much easier (and more profitable) to simply say, you're diabetic so I'm going to blindly prescribe this and see if it works? That doesn't seem to be a very smart way to go about doing things to me.

Staying positive in today's world

As I look around at my friends and family, I am saddened by what I see. People are so negative and they don't even realize they are being negative. I work at staying positive, because of my depression that I fight on a daily basis. I don't know, but maybe that has made me more sensitive to negative things. I tend to shy away from them.

In some cases, a gentle reminder works to help people wake up to the fact that they are approaching a toxic level of negativity. Believe it or not, your attitude does have an impact on your life, the lives of those around you and your health.

Positive people are more likely to succeed in life. Why? Because they look at the obstacle in front of them and think, I can conquer this. They don't give up. They find a way.

Negative people will look at an obstacle and think, I can't do this, it's too much, I'll never make it, yadda yadda. And you know what? They don't make it. Every time.

Politics are a very popular area for people to be very negative. Love him or hate him, Trump was elected president. Bashing him every chance you get will not change this. You may have loved Obama, but I got news for you, not everyone did. But at some point you have to make a choice. Are you going to continue to bash someone that in likelihood has no clue you even exist and couldn't care less what your opinion of him is? Or are you going to actually DO SOMETHING positive that will make an impact on the world around you and make it a better place? Boycotting his daughter's clothing and jewelry lines won't hurt her, or him. It will however, put hundreds of innocent people out of work. And why? To settle your pettiness because you hate her dad? Come on, I thought we were adults here, or am I mistaken on that one too?

I have actually cut people from my life because they couldn't stop being negative. It's a cancer and it will eat away at you and those who stay around you until you are physically ill from it. You have to move beyond it and move forward. I've actually had to cut family from my life as much as possible in order to have peace of mind. And for me, that peace of mind is more valuable than chasing the approval from someone that was never going to give it anyway because I did something they didn't and they can't stand it. I chased my dream, I became a published author, and yes, FAMILY was some of the biggest nay-sayers of all.

There's a song by Tim McGraw about someone getting a promotion and everyone wanting to be the one to get it and trash talking whomever gets it until they lose the position. I realize to an extent it is human nature to not want to see the next guy doing better than you, but really people, unless and until we can move beyond that mentality, we will never move forward as a species.

I love being around positive people. They fuel my work and my drive to keep going. I got a message from my niece yesterday begging me to hurry up and get book two published because she's read book one twice waiting for it to come out. That sort of thing makes me so happy, knowing someone enjoyed my book and actually re-read it.

So I'm going to issue a challenge to those of you who read all of this. Find one positive thing a day, every day, for a week. write it down, make a note somewhere, and read them again when you are feeling low. It can be something as simple as "He smiled at me today", "the dog was insanely happy to see me when I got home from work". Just something small, happy, but a reminder that not everything in life has to be negative all the time.

Salud.

Headaches and life

I hate migraines. They stop me from living, they won't let me die. I wish I knew why I have them, but I don't. There is no rhyme or reason and no trigger that I have been able to determine. They just happen and when they do, I wish my life could stop until the pain goes away. But life doesn't stop and won't stop and I have to figure out some way to keep going until the pain is gone.

I'm trying to get the last of my book edited and submitted, some two months after I thought I would have it done. Life happens. I don't know that I will ever get used to it. I fight against it all the time and it leaves me frustrated. Maybe that's why I get migraines. I don't know how to go with the flow.

Anyone got some tips on how to learn to do that?

Staying on task

There are days it’s not easy to get up and write. I know it may seem like a shock to some people, but it really is. You don’t see anyone responding to what you write, sales are slow, and it seems like you just aren’t making a difference in the world to anyone. It’s rather like being stuck in a dead-end, going no-where job. Only, this is something you can’t just quit and walk away from.

Writing is different from other jobs. Writing gets in your head and after a while, it’s to the point where there isn’t room for anything else. You get irritable if you have to stop and do things, like eat dinner, socialize, say hi to the family, walk the dog. At the same time, realistically speaking, if you don’t take a break and go to the bathroom, things will get really disgusting really quick. Sorry for that image, but it’s true.

In a normal 9-5 job where you punch a clock and you have a boss who signs your checks, you have a quitting time. Writing doesn’t work like that. There are times you will put in 20 hours and still have more to write, but know if you don’t get some sleep it’s going to be all crap. Writing, you don’t have anyone but yourself holding you accountable for getting the book written, revised, edited and off to the publisher. You have no boss to keep you on task.

But fans keep you on task. They tell you that you have to keep going, get that next book out, encourage you in ways you really need, just when you need it. It’s awesome.

Exercise and health

Everyone knows that exercise and eating right is important. Pretty much everyone makes those infamous New Year resolutions to exercise more, eat better, lose weight. But how many of us actually keep those promises? And it's not like we made a promise to a stranger, this is a promise we made to OURSELVES. The most important person to our own existence. If we can't keep a promise to ourselves, who can we keep one to?

Exercise to me, is difficult, but is also very important. I've found a few support groups though, and they help. Having someone keep you accountable also helps. It's the accountability that really keeps you on task. Having a workout partner is also great, but via the internet you can have that 'workout buddy' without actually being there with the person. It's kinda cool.

So here's to those who have kept up the work since the first of the year and are still working out and eating right. And to those of us who fell off the wagon but can realize that it's ok as long as we don't STAY off the wagon and get back on. None of us are perfect, and it's great to be around others who realize that and don't hold it against you for not being perfect.

It finally happened

It happened at church tonight, after Bible study concluded. The person that leads us had bought a copy of my book, more for support than anything else I think, and had brought it in for me to sign. He told me he had finally gotten a chance to get past page 10 (he started reading and got interrupted at page 10) and was really enjoying it. As he's a retired professor, that he likes my writing style is a HUGE complement.

Anyway, one of the other guys at church saw my book, and heard Don (study leader) comment to his wife that I had signed it. Bill, the other guy, got all wide eyed and looked over at the book and glanced at me and was like, really? That's your book? (his tone was impressed :) ). I confirmed that yes, I wrote it, and he was like, I heard you had written one but this is, it's real. (Did he think I had made it up? IDK lol) but then he said he might just go out and get a copy since Don was enjoying it. As a joke, I told him that he can now go around telling people he attends church with a published author who made a (admittedly small and minor) best seller list for clean and wholesome romance. He grinned and agreed.

(Strange to think that my reading audience would be straight men. I was aiming for women, hopeless romantics who like a little danger and intrigue along with their love stories. But, hey, I ain't knocking it. I think it's really cool and kinda funny at the same time.)

Anyway, I got my thrill for the night. What happened today to make you feel good? Whether it was something you did or something done for you?

Fear of revelation

Writing is a very, exposing, thing to do. You really do lay a part of your own soul bare for the world to see. People who don't write, don't know how much of you, the writer goes into what you write. My friends say they can tell that certain characters have a bit of them in them, and they see a LOT of me in my books.

God, I hope that isn't really the case. There are dark recessed parts of my soul that I don't even want to explore, much less expose for the masses at large to go traipsing through. I know I'm not supposed to care what people at large think of me. I'm working on that. At least on a personal level. Professionally I care what people think of me. Am I a good writer, do I produce an entertaining story for them to read, are they priced right to move books off the shelf and into your hand?

But being a writer is terrifying. You work and slave over your brain child for months, sometimes years, and then one day you have to send it out into the big bad world and pray it does well. Because if it doesn't, you might not get another shot at being published. It's scary. And no one really knows how it will turn out. You just have to be willing to take that leap of faith and pray you grow wings on the way down.

Inserts and deletions, in life and in words

As the days go by, people come and go in your life. Someone once said people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I have found that to be true. The hard part is knowing when to let go of the people who don't come for the lifetime part. You get so comfortable having them there, it hurts to let go. But you have to let go to make way for the next person that will come into your life, for the next reason or season.

I still haven't figured out how to tell if someone is really here for the temporary reasons and seasons as versus for the lifetime. I wish they came with a sign that would let you know, that way you don't get too attached to the temporary ones and don't get hurt. But I suppose the hurt is part of the lesson they are here to teach you.

Writing also has insertions and deletions. Sometimes they are easy to spot, usually the deletions are easier than the insertions though. Learning how to cut out the floss, how to whittle down things to the bare essence of the matter and make it interesting enough that people will want to read it. People write books to be read and enjoyed by others. Money is how you measure the success of your writing and how many people enjoy it. If you didn't write to be published and make money, you would only write a journal and never expose it to the outside world. There is something quite terrifying about letting someone read and critique your work. But that's a topic for another post. :)

#southernfamilyseriesbooks

And the massacre begins

I'm killing my lovelies. Taking a meandering over 100k manuscript and cutting and chopping, carefully picking and pruning to turn it into a 90k-95k novel that actually has a time line that makes sense. I am also being careful to cut out parts that elude to another book and give away the story in that book.

It's really quite challenging to do. I encourage everyone who hasn't done it to try. As I work, I'm more and more in awe of people who did this stuff before the day of computers. The cut and copy and paste features have made whomever came up with them my new hero. I can't wrap my head around the tedium it must have been to try to do it on paper, and ONLY on paper. I know there are some that still map out and do their rough drafts longhand, but wow. I know I couldn't do a whole book in its entirety by hand.

So here's a hat tip to those who came before me and my generation of writers. To the real wordsmiths, the real craft masters, who toiled in bad lighting and risking paper-cuts to bring some few hours of happiness and escape from the dreary real world around us.

Check this out and see what people are raving about!

Family Fortune by Kathleen Eyke.
Headstrong heiress,
dad with evil plans,
hero in the making who comes between them...

“I will miss this when we leave for Cottonville,” Emma told him as they strolled along.

“Truly?” Roger queried. He glanced back, checking to see how far behind them Liz and Jonathan were. “Exactly what is it that you will miss the most?”

“I think it will actually be you,” Emma said boldly. Roger didn’t try to stop the feeling of masculine pride at her words. A smug look crossed his face.

“I’m most flattered,” he told her. “I find that I will miss you as well.”

“It’s too bad we can’t even write to each other while I’m away,” Emma lamented.

“Remind me again why we can’t?” Roger’s brow wrinkled in confusion.

Emma tipped her head to the side. “My contract says I cannot court. That would seem to include receiving letters from a man I’m not related to. In short, one letter from you and I’m fired.”

“That seems a bit harsh,” Roger told her.

“That’s life,” Emma shrugged. “You can’t be married and a woman and have a career. The world just doesn’t allow it.”

...

Find it today on the following:

Links:
http://www.hottreepublishing.com/historical-romance
All links: books2read.com/familyfortune
Amazon US: http://amzn.to/2fYLQ2w
Amazon UK: www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01M4NAH3R
Amazon AU: www.amazon.com.au/dp/B01M4NAH3R
Amazon CA: www.amazon.ca/dp/B01M4NAH3R
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1168813613
Nook: www.bn.com/w/1124998235
Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/family-fortune-3
#southernfamilysecretsbooks

Stubborn characters

Stubborn characters are the bane of my existence. I've been trying to get mine to finish up their story so I can finally submit it to the publisher. Are they finishing up? Oh nOOOOOOOOOooooooooo. Can't have that! Stubborn characters are stalling on me, insisting that I work backwards, go back and do revisions before something is finished. It's really messing with my flow of things.

I know I've talked about it before, but really, you don't control your characters, not really. They determine what happens, when and how. You are simply the vessel through which they tell their story. And right now, these two are refusing to say a peep. I wish I could reach into the story line and spank them. Or at least shake them some and make them spill the beans. I already know how things will end. That's a given. It's a HEA story, so I have the happy ending written. It's getting there that is the issue.

Okay, I'm going to go pound some keys in the hopes that will loosen their metaphoric tongues and cause the story to flow. Wish me luck!