Back Pain Blues

Those of you who have it, know. Back pain ain't no joke. I'm not talking an occasional twinge or a pulled muscle here and there, I'm talking bone deep, crippling, can't move for the pain, can't hardly breathe because it involves moving your back muscles pain, P. A. I. N.

I was a kinda rough and tumble kid. Lived on a farm, so yea, it sorta came with the territory. We had a 17 hand tall Tennessee Walker stallion, and a couple of Welsh ponies that I corrupted and (don't hate me) trained to herd and cut cattle. I only corrupted the ponies, not the stallion. Anyway, I was futzing with the horse one day, and something happened, I don't remember what, and I ended up tumbling backwards off him and got clipped in the back by one of his hooves. Fast forward a few years, and I got thrown while trail riding  because the pony was spooked by a snake, and landed back first on the edge of a stump. Pretty much the same spot. Needless to say, I have issues now because of this.

This brings us to last night. Pretty special night at church. Bishop was visiting from Birmingham, had a deacon from a neighboring city in as well, had dinner all laid out, ready to serve after service. We are all in the sanctuary, starting service, and guess what happens? That's right, my back picked five minutes into service to decide to go out. Realistically speaking, I should have known this was coming. I'd been having flare-ups for over a week now. And I knew that standing for too long was going to be a mistake. But I don't like people knowing I have issues, so I was pretending it was all OKAY. HA! My back made sure everyone knew I wasn't okay. Five minutes into service, my back went out and I basically fell onto the pew. I stayed there for the whole service. I'm pretty much the youngest person that was there tonight, and I was by far in the worst physical shape of everyone.

Service over, time to move to fellowship hall. I manage, with dad's help, to stand up, he's helping me to the door where the bishop is standing with his staff. I jokingly ask if I can borrow it, and he lets me. I was grateful but so embarrassed at the same time. How sad is it that I had to ask to borrow an ornamental (but thankfully substantial) staff from the visiting BISHOP to walk 20 feet??

So please, don't belittle people who say they have serious back pain even though they don't show it very often. It's real, and it's crippling. It's no fun. I wish I didn't have it. It's also why I don't go out much. My back goes out enough for me.